Two years ago, I ended a “serious” intimate partner relationship; and it wasn’t until a year had passed (and a budget was adopted for quality therapy ;)) that I had been able to name one of the top reasons our relationship failed: lack of interpersonal bond. In my opinion, and through intentional reflection, I recognized our sociological cues (we were spending the first summer we’d met together) increased our “probability of contact” (Trenholm, 2008, p. 158) and our preinteraction cues (style of dress, flirtation, physical appearance, etc.) were exactly what Trenholm (2008) stated: “surface details” (p. 159). I believe we spent the summer in the “honeymoon” phase, lusting more over the new experience and the excitement of something refreshing and “healthy” (as I’d left my prior relationship because it was abusive). From this relationship, I learned how important, for me, it was to learn the cognitive cues while developing a friendship (before it progresses into a romantic relationship). I’m opinionated, I’ll admit it ( ;) ) and I’m also half Italian ( ;) ), and while I’m open to someone with differing belief systems, I believe the two of us found out too late in our relationship how dissimilar we were and we could not repair our relationship in either context.
No comments:
Post a Comment